Alexandria Ott: Manifested Success Through Curated Experiences

I find that the younger generation that's sharing, especially tips and tricks on technology, video editing, things that our generation just wasn't exposed to, I'm always all ears. My feed on my Instagram is definitely younger people teaching me tips and tricks on Canva hacks and video hacks and content hacks. So I will say that that is something I absorb greatly. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Make It Happen Mondays, where we talk about sales, business, entrepreneurship, personal growth, mental health, and everything in between with guests who I truly respect and I think make a positive impact on the world around us. Today's conversation is with Alexandria Hunt. Now, she is the founder and CEO of Chrome City Creative Studio, co-founder and producer of San Diego's underground dinner series, The Blank Table, and host of Wild and Wise Podcast.

And this was such a cool conversation. She's a very unique and driven individual that has a lot to offer here. So this is one of those ones you're going to want to listen to all of it all the way to the end. We started with her background as usual, and she's got a really cool background with two parents who were entrepreneurs and in sales all the way through and through. And actually diverted real quick to a conversation about women in the workforce and how to leverage your strengths while still being professional and also without losing your soul and being taken seriously too. Because it's just a question I've gotten in the past and I just don't know how to answer and I don't think it quite frankly is appropriate for me to answer.

So she had a great answer for this one. But then we went into, you know, she's got a background in PR. That's what her degree is in. And it's moved towards more of a creative agency. There was a noticeable shift a while back between PR and how it kind of went away when social really came out. And she talks about that journey and what she learned. And so we go into personal branding and her advice for people on how to own their brand in an authentic way. Talk a little bit about some old school stuff and new school techniques that they can use. Stuff like stretching and sprinkling content that you'll listen to. And then we went into, again, sharing the journey and how important it was. Um, but she doesn't, she is, when it comes to authenticity, she's actually in a little bit of a different mindset than I am of like sharing everything.

Um, because she represents a lot of people that, uh, and a lot of brands. And so she doesn't share a lot of her failures. Um, and I do, but it's mainly because I'm back on my own doing my own thing and I don't have to worry about 20 or 30 other employees and their livelihood. So we talked about the dynamics of that. Um, but then we got into Chrome city and the, and she's got this great, uh, curation is the new currency of communication. So it's about curating these really interesting events for brands and connecting with people and how that is so important in today's digital world. So there's a lot of talk on this one about storytelling, psychology, you know, manifestation, even, and just really owning your brand.

So I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Let's make it happen. Alexandria Ott, welcome to the make it happen Monday podcast. How are you doing today? I'm doing wonderful. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. Thanks for coming on. It was going to be a fun conversation. I was, uh, doing some prep for this and, uh, you have a very interesting background and you're doing some really cool stuff right now. So before we get into all of that though, you know, and all the stuff that people can read on LinkedIn is, is what they can read. But talk to us a little about, about your origin story here, Alexandria, like where'd, where'd you grow up to your family? Like, where'd you get the itch specifically?

Cause I think this, this conversation is going to delve into entrepreneurship and those types of things. I always love learning kind of where that came from and was it manifested, which we will talk about as well. Or was it something that you kind of always had in you? So give us a little, some little background and we'll take on there. Sure. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Um, I grew up in Coronado, California. It's a small island in San Diego, mostly a military town. My father was not in the military, um, at the time of us living there, but, uh, he owned a public relations firm called PR and he worked from home. So his office was always, you know, if we were to live anywhere, he had to have a guest house and we were very respectful of his business.

But I spent so much of my childhood sitting under my dad's desk, playing with post-it notes and highlighters. And to this day, office supplies give me just like a weird feeling in my stomach because they're nostalgic and I love them. And it's cool because my kids will also walk into staples and you're like, uh, it's the little things that get me excited. Sharpies. Oh my God. Um, so I spent a lot of time listening to my dad on the phone. He was an incredible speaker. He went to USC and got his master's at UCLA. He was wildly intelligent. He read, you know, philosophical books to us at young ages. He was always reading sort of like age, not appropriate books to us. In other words, like, you know, reading manifestos or reading, you know, Emerson or, you know, just these incredible authors.

Um, and, you know, he was an entrepreneur. He owned his own business his whole life and it was a PR firm. He sort of meddled more in the political realm. Um, and then my mother was also a top notch business woman. Um, every single morning before I would, you know, crawl into my dad's office, I would sit in my mom's bathroom with her and watch her do her makeup from head to toe. So she was such a beautiful, um, she was such a beautiful woman, but she was in sales. She was in title insurance and she became the vice president. She was always the only woman in the industry from the time she was 17. Um, and she shared every story with me about what it was like to be a woman in the industry and the kind of men she had to deal with.

And sort of, uh, you know, how you have to acclimate to the culture of men as a woman when you're powerful and when you're beautiful and when you're tall and blonde, you know, and, um, I really watched her get ready every day, always in a suit, nails, perfect earrings, the whole bit, um, and go out there and fight. And when my parents got divorced, when I was 10, my mom really took on the responsibility of raising us and she did an exceptional job and she was a hustler. So I came from a family of hustlers. Um, but I give my mom all the props in the world. I love that. Can I ask a, I wasn't going to ask, I mean, the backgrounds, we have actually a similar one. Both my parents were pseudo entrepreneurs, even though they didn't really position it that way.

My dad worked from home and I stayed in his, you know, in his room while he was doing his thing, but not as much. Cause he smoked three packs of reds a day. So I couldn't really do that. My dad too. Two packs. Nope. Oh God. It's like, yeah. Oh, see my dad was like Marlboro reds, like straight up reds. And it was three packs a day. And it was like, well, that's why I've never smoked a cigarette in my life because I just can't even think about it. I can't say the same. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my mom also was an, like, she actually quit. She, my, my sister's nine years older than me. And, uh, and so I was happy, surprise. And when my mom, she worked at Wang laboratories, which was like, back then it was like Salesforce.

Like, it was like, if you had a job at Wang, like, Oh my God. And she was again, one of the only women at the higher levels, but she literally quit when I was born because she wanted me to have the same experience as my sister of her raising me. And she started her own consultancy at home. And so when I would come home, I would walk in, we had a split level and I would walk into the basement through the garage and the living room was okay. There was our living room, but then there was our office. And so I was around it, even though I didn't know it, you brought up a, I'm curious on this one. And cause I'm going to bring this up because you said fearless conversations. Um, how do you, she was a tall, beautiful woman in a man's world.

How do you balance? Like, I always say to people like leverage what you got, you know what I mean? If your strengths are speaking, if your strengths are this, if you're whatever it is. And in a lot of ways, women, you know, and men too, there's the strength in how you look, but because man, you know, it's a man's world. A lot of ways, especially back then, what's the balance. Do you think? And I, and I'm talking to like young sales professionals here, young women sales professionals, cause I don't have an answer for this. And I think it's inappropriate for me to even give an answer to this coming from my perspective, but I would love your perspective of how does a woman maintain her beauty, if you will, and confidence and, and, and leverage it the right way.

You know what I mean? Like, it's an awkward question for me. I don't even know how to phrase the question, but you know what I'm trying to get out here. Right. How do you, as a beautiful woman go out into the world and be taken seriously? I mean, that's really exactly it. Right. Um, I'll ask it. Cause if you asked it, it would be, yeah, it would be funnier or different. Um, you know, I think for one, like straight up, I dress masculine. I mean, even today I'm wearing, you know, a denim shirt and this jacket. And when the time is right to close the deal, I'm probably going to show my legs and, you know, use my brain. And, um, you know, I remember one time when I moved to Chicago, this is an example of this.

I was 24 and I couldn't find a job anywhere in public relations, which is what I got my degree. And then I started my career in, and so I ended up working at a nightclub. And one of my dear friends, Michael said, be careful with the way that you act when you're working in that nightclub, because eventually you will not work in a nightclub and you'll be back in PR and people will remember what you did and how you acted. So don't take this opportunity to be, you know, this wild, whatever, knowing that you're going to be back in the boys club soon. Um, I think first and foremost, becoming friends with men, I've always had a lot of guy friends, a lot. I mean, to this day, I'm engaged and have probably more guy friends and girlfriends.

Um, so I really develop a friendship with men that I think then they can trust me and they see me sort of as one of the guys. Um, you know, I think there's a time and a place to really be done up. Like for example, today I have a tiny bit of blush and a red lip and that's about it. I don't have a bunch of mascara and a bunch of eyeshadow. Um, and I'm, you know, wore high heels today, but I wore a nice pair of pants underneath. So I think the way that you maneuver the world and, and it's a balancing act because in some ways I think I learned in Chicago to be such a tough dog, like all the men I saw that I wasn't really a soft boss and I was really mean. And I became just like terrible, um, for a long time.

And it was because I was putting on sort of like this coat that I was learning that this is what I saw. So this is how I need to act. And I didn't know when to turn it on and turn it off because for many men, it's sort of, of course, intrinsic, you know, you're mean, when it comes to business, you're nice to your staff and you move on with your day, you can decompartmentalize. Whereas women were all in one, all of our thoughts are in one. That's why we're such complex creatures. That's why we can manage a household, a business, a side hustle and every holiday and every dinner, you know, because we're complex creatures. We don't decompartmentalize. And so my advice is to tap into your beauty in the ways that make you feel comfortable, but you're still in the workforce and you're, you don't need to flirt.

You know, I always notice a man's haircut. I always notice when a man has a fresh, fresh pressed shirt. So I noticed them, but I don't flirt with them. And I think that's the difference. I think I've gained a lot of, I think a lot of men that, and it's just a true statement in my opinion, that a lot of men don't trust women in the workplace, maybe in their lives. Right. And so I've earned the trust of a lot of very important men because I notice things and I say it. I notice your haircut. You've got new glasses. I really like that purple shirt on you. It's a good color on you, but I'm not flirting. And then I also carry myself well. I'm well-dressed. I smell good. I put myself together nicely, but I'm not there to impress with my looks.

I always use my brain. And so I think when you lead with intellectualism and you lead with what you notice, then you've cut out a place for yourself and sort of this man's world. Hey, I hope you're enjoying the conversation so far. I want to take a quick minute to share with you what I'm working on these days with my new JB sales membership. It includes live monthly training delivered by me on my two signature courses, which are filling the funnel and driving a close that cover all aspects of the sales process. It also includes monthly workshops that'll be running on specific sales skills and different tech skills like ChatGPT and how to leverage AI throughout the entire sales process. Finally, the membership gives you access to my entire online catalog with every course and every tip I've ever done.

And as an exclusive offer to my podcast listeners, if you go to jbarrows.com, click on the individual membership link and use coupon code podcast at checkout, you'll get 25% off. Now let's get back to the conversation. Yeah. And thank you for that. Cause it's, it's always, you know, as it, as, as much of an advocate as I, as I try to be in those types of things, there was just certain things I don't even know how to give advice on for women who come and ask me like, Hey John, how do I handle this situation? I'm like, shit. I'm like, I'll give you my perspective here, but I'm, but I'll, and I think it's a good perspective because it is coming from the male, you know, from the male perspective, but I'm like, I don't, my advice is, is, is actually bad because it would be advice about how to, how I would react and I'm, I would react different than, than others.

And so appreciate that. I wasn't going to, I didn't want this to like, to go down that road, but that you brought that your mom in that, in that, in that environment, which is such a, just, it's so foreign to almost any other man. Like I have this tattoo on my arm called when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression. And I think the comment there is privileges and like silver spoon in your mouth, that type of thing, privileges. I don't even think about what I'm wearing today. Yes, absolutely. And I think, you know, we don't have to go into politics and I don't want to, but I think that's why this time is so hard because, you know, women weren't heard that. And it's not that long ago.

It's my mother, you know, she's a full functioning part of society. She goes out and, and, you know, people don't believe women and they still don't. So I think it's a, it's a great question because there is no right answer of how a woman should be. The goal would be that she doesn't have to think about it either, but we're just not there yet. We're just not there. So let's talk about, you know, I mean, you got Chrome City, you have a lot of different cool things you've, you've pivoted. I am curious the PR to a creative agency pivot, right? Because I think PR back in the day, especially when, you know, you got your degree in it, it was the thing. And I, even back then though, every, like people were kind of leery on what is PR and how does PR compare to marketing and those types of things.

But I think there's been a noticeable shift because of, I think, social to more of a creative agency. So what was kind of the realization for you as you were in PR that, wait a minute, this is not sustainable here. I have to pivot to, to serve a greater good here, but also to survive. So could you walk me through kind of that realization? Because I think it's an interesting one. Yeah. So just for anybody that's listening and doesn't know the difference, PR is sort of this third party verification that a brand or a business is legit, right? So if the New York Times is saying this is the best book, the best snack, the best pants, you're getting a third party's validation for your brand. Marketing is you're saying your brand is great and you're sort of pushing up the message yourself.

And I think that's a huge distinction. You're speaking to your audience when it's marketing, when it's PR, somebody else is speaking about your brand. And as a publicist or a PR professional, you are evolving relationships with the right people and writers to be able to cover your client's product or business. And so with that, there's a lot less control. So for example, I could sit all day, every day doing marketing, designing stuff, you know, putting out mailers, doing e-newsletters, even obviously it's social media marketing, you know, designing ad campaigns. I can control all of that. I can spend my day doing that. When it's public relations and you are pitching the media, it's really media relations in a lot of ways.

You are relying on a third party to answer your email, to open your email, to read your email, to be interested in your client, to be interested in you, and then to pitch that to their editor who says yes or no. And if you're lucky, they say yes. And then four months later, you maybe get a piece in a journal. And so that process and quite frankly, the shift came when I work on a retainer basis and clients are writing me a check every month. And I'm working on a lot and I'm working every day, but I have nothing to show for it. And that feeling to me felt, if I'm just being honest, like disgusting. I am somebody that wants somebody to have a grin on their face when they write me a check because my work is unlike anybody else's, my work ethic is unmatched.

And I stand by that. But unfortunately, when your work ethic is unmatched and you've pitched every publication, the niche magazines, the regional publications, the daily newspapers, and you have say of the 50 people, five saying, I'm interested. We're working on something. I'll keep you posted. And that is your answer to your client when they're writing you another check. It just didn't work for me anymore. So that was around the time when Instagram was really gaining popularity. I mean, I'm 38 years old going gray, happily gray. And so that is a time when we could control the story for the first time, you know, because, you know, we could send any newsletter, but we didn't have a ton of outlets to share our story.

And so we were relying on these newspapers and magazines to do it. And it did its job. But it was the first time I mean, people, it's such a part of the vernacular in our lives these days, but people have to understand who are younger, like, there was a time when you sort of didn't get to fully control your story. If you were a mid or small size business, if you were a large business, and you had big PR firms and marketing engines, that's a different story. I'm talking about mom and pop shops, restaurants, salons, local businesses, there was no such thing as an influencer. And so we pivoted so that we could control the story. There was all these small parts like, you know, a restaurant that I was working at, you know, working with as a client had, you know, been growing their own kale on the rooftop, and that's their famous kale salad came from.

And if somebody wasn't going to pick up that story, I wanted to talk all about it. And so that's where the shift from PR to social media came from was these niche stories, these human stories, these behind the scenes stories that weren't being told or picked up by the news. And so that's really where the shift began. How do you control that? Well, that's a bad word to control the narrative here. But if you're thinking of, you know, an entrepreneur, right, and a sales rep, because I tell everybody right now, you have to be a mini marketer as a sales rep, as an individual, which is why your brand matters, which is why, you know, so but so many people give up on it, because there is just no short term benefit to it, quite frankly, like the likelihood of you posting something on LinkedIn, or doing something on Instagram, unless you're like straight B2C, and it's a product, and they can click on it and buy it, which in my world just isn't the case.

With AI specifically, I think brands going to matter more than ever, because nobody's going to know who to trust. But what do you tell the sales rep right now who's sitting there behind a desk, you know, selling to, you know, CISA, you know, chief information security officers in healthcare at 23 years old. And like, yeah, I know I got to build my brand and all that fun stuff. But I also have to hit my numbers. Is there a way that you can kind of ease somebody into learning to own their brand and be their brand in a very authentic way? Yeah, and I'm going to go to the two polar extremes of old school and new school with this one, because I believe both need to exist. On the old school spectrum, I'm all about mailing gifts.

I really believe whether there's an incredible book, and you write a little note inside looking forward to working with you. I thought this book was incredible, whatever it is, a quick note, you know, that's sort of more feminine side, a candle, a gift box, something that says, I look forward to working with you. Here's a physical thing, because I've emailed you 47 times, you've ignored them all. So I think going old school writing thank you notes, people still really read the mail, especially after COVID. I feel like there was a huge resurgence into people looking in the mail for checks when people were on unemployment. And so I'm a big time old school salesperson when it comes to your brand, your brand is a thoughtful gift.

And I think books are the best of the best. A quick note inside your business card, easy breezy. And then on the new school side, you know, I really use ChatGPT on a regular, probably 15 times a day basis. And I say something like, it knows me now because I've been using it for so long. But like, my name is this, I work in this industry, some of our challenges are this. I want to stand out in my industry, ask me a few questions about my perspective on this industry that will have you help me create content around a niche perspective or an interesting opinion or something that sounds like it's different. And I'll answer those questions. And then I work with it. So when it comes back to me, and it says, here's the seven ways that my industry is changing in 2025, trend reporting, right?

Say four of them or just anyone could say that. Then I go back and I say, I love one, two and seven, three, four and six, whatever the numbers are, feel too cliche. Let's change them and get a lot more detailed. I want you to read this article from this expert and pull from this article to really inform what the trends are for next year. And then once you do that work, you can pull whatever that is that it gave back to you, the seven trends for 2025 in your industry, into so many different things. And I tell my girls a lot in social media, it's called stretching and sprinkling. That's sort of how I, those are my terms, stretching and sprinkling. Sprinkling is when you know that on Monday, you're going to talk about what you're doing all day, what your meetings are just for a young entrepreneur.

It's interesting to other young entrepreneurs. Every Monday, I talk from the moment I wake up, I make my latte, I go to the gym, I have this meeting, this call, this lunch meeting. So I know that if I'm going to do that every Monday, I'm going to sprinkle that every single Monday. And that's when you find something that works and then you keep sprinkling it in so that when you go to create content, you're not sitting at your desk going, holy shit, I don't even know what to do. You know that Monday is your schedule, that Wednesday is your tip, and that Friday is maybe somebody you admire and you're giving them a shout out, you know, but you do it every single week. And so what you can do is sit down and go, okay, let me look at my schedule for the next four Monday, so I don't even have to think about it.

Let me look at the six tips that chat GBT gave me and I'm just going to sprinkle that in for the next six Wednesdays so I don't have to think about it. And then stretching is when you get those six tips and you make a reel out of them by talking into the camera. Then you post a video on YouTube about it and then you design something with Canva, which is what we use for stories. And then once you post that, you do it again in two months, so you set a reminder. And it's just a rinse and a repeat of things. And I think what happens a lot of times and why people get burnt out is they will go through all this chat GBT work, design all this stuff, post it, and then not use it again. And I think that's a huge disservice to the brand because you don't know who needed to hear it again, who saw it differently.

And so, yeah, that's my advice. Yeah. I think it's funny. Everybody thinks that, oh, how could I post, you know, the same thing over it's like, do you know how few people saw it? Like, even if you get a big exposure, the likelihood of the person seeing it is not high. So do it again. And nobody cares what you see it, you know? Like, it's not like if I saw a girl in a very specific outfit saying a specific thing and I saw it again in two months that I would judge her for it. You know, it's a simple swipe and who cares? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, at least maybe adults. I don't know, my 14-year-old daughter might have a different conversation, but as adults, hopefully... Oh my God. Yeah, seriously.

Well, awesome. So I think this is kind of leads into, you know, you talk a lot about empowering entrepreneurs to find strength in their journey or that, you know, you said that, and I always tell people, just share your journey. It's the easiest thing for you to post about. So when you talk about these sprinkling, right, where you talk about your daily routine or what you're doing today, you know, there's very few people that I, I mean, the top of the top who like, here's my advice, here's what you should do, right? And those people are great. But when I see somebody who's 22, 23, 24, 25, you know, this is what, here's the five top things. And here, I'm like, hold on there, Charlie, you've been out in the real world for about a hot five minutes here.

I don't necessarily know if I'm going to take what you're telling me here just from a perception standpoint. But what I love is to watch people share their journeys, their stories, because you just never know who's listening and how, and how it might impact them. How do you do this in an authentic way though? Like, cause I think so many people are scared to share or they just don't think it's important or they don't think it'll help anybody. Where's the line for you? And is there one of, of, of sharing that journey with purpose versus just sharing the journey? Yes. There's a lot to unpack there. One, I disagree. I find that the younger generation that's sharing, especially tips and tricks on technology, video editing, things that our generation just wasn't exposed to.

I'm always all ears. Like my feed on my Instagram is definitely younger people teaching me tips and tricks on Canva hacks and video hacks and content hacks. So I will say that that is something I absorb greatly. Listen, I, I think that there's a line, right? Like I ultimately am a communications expert, a business strategist, and nobody needs to know that my depression has been up lately. Like, so that's, that's where I think it's a different generational thing, right? I think the younger generation is much more open about mental health and their, you know, identities and their adventures. I'm not, you know, I think that, you know, I am somebody that in an in person interview in a panel speaking series, I'm someone that definitely shines in my authenticity.

I think sometimes I say the things that people are thinking, but don't want to say. And so with that is probably like a confidence, but also sort of an empathetic nature where it's kind of like, I can read the room and feel the room. But when it comes to my journey, I think it's hard because on social media, I will share about being a mother of two. I will share about the business and the successes. But to be honest with you, I'm not really sharing the failures of our business or the missteps because I have a reputation to keep. And while I can appreciate people that do that, I don't particularly have any interest in doing that. I think it's sort of something for me. I have a small team of young women.

We're figuring things out. We've got a lot figured out. We're trying new things. And I feel a little bit like I don't want to air the dirty laundry of the brand because we represent some very big people. And I don't want my sort of missteps or my woes as a brand or a business to impact the way that people ever look at the companies that I represent. And if I'm talking about mistakes that I've made or missteps that I've made, who's to say that I didn't do that for them. And so this is just my own opinion, but I don't believe in that part of it. When I talk about having a rough day or a tough time being a mom or the transition from work mode and being in control and orchestrating everything brand and then coming home and dealing with throw up and screaming and not wanting to do homework, that is a challenge of mine I'm happy to talk about.

So I think that I'm still learning about the ability as an authentic woman having authentic conversations with friends. But when it comes to social media, I'm still unraveling that tightly wound perception that in PR as a professional, you make sure everything looks like it's all working and it's all good. So it's a journey. I'm still on myself. I think there is something to be said of being responsible for other people and being an individual contributor. There's pros and cons of both. But I know for me, I've always tried to be super authentic. But when I brought this company to 20 employees, I definitely felt the weight of, oh, I can't just say whatever the fuck I want to say now. Because if I do, I'm now responsible for 19 other people's livelihoods.

And if I say, because I used to smoke weed on Instagram, I used to be like, yeah, fuck this and whatever. But who knows? And again, out of context, I think that's the bigger challenge. If you know me, you know where all this stuff is coming from and you love it. But if you don't know me and you just catch me on your Instagram feed and you see me, you know, smoking a blunt, being like, what's up going into some training tomorrow, you know, that type of thing. And you're a decision maker at a company and you see that it's like, dude, I'm never doing business with you ever again. And then word gets out about that. And then it's horrible. So I do remember there's there was kind of like a distinct moment where I've always prided myself on my authenticity.

But I remember being like, Ooh, I, I can't be my full, not, I can't, not that I can't be authentic. I can't be my full, authentic self that I would be with my friends. I think the word to is refinement. You've refined what you're sharing. It doesn't change who you are. It's just, you've refined as you elevate, as you step up, as you, as you jump different levels, there's a refinement that must take place. You know, I used to swear all the time because I was one of the boys. I have a filthy mouth. That's probably one of the top three reasons my fiance loves me. I have a, you know, I think like a man in a lot of ways and that's fine in a place. But as I've become more successful, uh, and elevated, I speak in a way that's still true to who I am, but I'm still stepping into the woman I want to become.

And I think that that's sort of where people sometimes think, Oh, you're not the same. And it's like, I'm not, you know, I'm still trying to level up in ways that maybe you can't even imagine. And for your example with the weed, it's the same. I get it. I'm totally a stoner. I love that. But is it part of my narrative as a business? No, it's just, it's just for me when I'm feeling overwhelmed and I just want to chill, you know? So yeah, the refinement is important as you level up. And I, that's my, I think the, the, the, what I'm worried about is, you know, I was, I'm from 48 about to be 49. And, and I say like, thank God I grew up without social media. I mean, good Lord. If I had documented any of my childhood, there's no way I'd be where I am right now.

And I, and I, and I, I just really fear that I tell my daughter this all the time. I go, just understand no matter how small you think that Snapchat thing is, is, or that quick little pic that you threw on Instagram. Like it is now there and it is now searchable and it is now findable. So 20 years from now, if you go to get a job, like there's a possibility that that thing pops up. And I just don't think this generation has that perspective. No. Um, I just saw a video last night that was a famous TikToker going into a university classroom to talk to them. And he basically said that his biggest regret was joining Tik TOK. And it was because he was posting crazy shit. And that's exactly what you're saying and making all this money.

And then when he went to, he got fired from his job for what he went viral for. So he had a regular job, went viral, um, lost his job and then had to keep trying to go viral in order to keep the money coming in because he couldn't get a job because of what went viral. And he was basically saying that it's the biggest regret of his life. And all these Tik Tokers that you think are making all this money and all these mansions aren't doing it because they want to, but because they have to, because they can't get a job because people see the shit they posted. It's very real. I mean, I look at generationally like, so if you're trying to get hired by kind of an old school generation and they see that absolutely not.

Do you think that'll almost be like, ah, you are what you're like when, when the Gen Z didn't come in. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. It's like, yeah, yeah, whatever we all did sentence. Totally. You know, like, I mean, a neck, maybe now a head or neck or face, maybe, you know, now is not my favorite, but like, I don't, nobody cares about tattoos anymore. I mean, people are getting tattoos that would have never. So yes, I do believe that the generation that was in the Tik Tok era that knew it was all momentary bullshit, um, aren't going to care. So I guess don't tell the kids that though. No, like tone it down a little bit. Yeah. Um, let's talk about Chrome city. Cause I love the angle. I've been a part of some of the, not, not specifically with Chrome city.

Um, but these curated events where, where you get in much more intimate relationship with the brand, if you will, you know, for me, I've done the part where I've been the quote unquote influencer that sits at the kind of really nice dinner table and facilitates the conversation and the client hosts it. And there's not a hard sale, you know, it's just, they're there saying thank you. And it's the goal is to get as close to revenue and get those people impressed. So, I mean, one of the quotes is, you know, curation is the new currency of communication. Did you unpack that for me a little bit? Yeah, absolutely. I feel like in a world where we are given so much information at a speed and a magnitude that we've never known before, the only way to stand out is to slow down and have a curated moment.

And so the currency of your communication, meaning the value of what you're saying is only as good as the way you're curating it. And to me, I think my favorite type of work to do is to curate an experience where we are getting content of every moment of that curated experience. And then we're curating that content to show and give a feeling online. And it's so hard to do when you're just ads and nonstop information overload all the time. But I think the way to do it is to slow down and curation is really the art of placing the right things together in a very thoughtful and intentional way in order to make people feel something. And I, it's something that's interesting because when I was just straight in PR, I would throw these events and events wasn't like a money, you know, you have like an event planner, which was a whole different world.

I mean, if somebody calls me an event planner, to me, it's like the dust. I just, no offense to that. But I would produce events and people would leave and really like, I remember my friend, Sunny, she's a, she's a ball buster. She's a lawyer. She's a tough person to impress. And she came up to me and she said, that was the best event I've ever been to. And I said, what? You've never said anything like that to me. And she said, you have a gift. There's something that you do, whether it's the people, I don't know what it is. And I realized, and I still don't, I know that it's curation and I know that it's slowing down and it's being mindful. And I know that I have a really great eye and I have really great taste.

And I'm a perfectionist. So nothing ever really knock on wood goes wrong. But when we slow down and you make your brands really focused on the curatorial aspects, whether you're a fashion brand and you decide to curate a dinner or an experience around it and your storytelling, I mean, so much of curation in my world is storytelling and stretching, right? How do we pull apart if you're releasing this one new hat? What does the hat mean? What is the fabric? Can we pull it into the napkin? What are the colors? Should the candles be that color? Who's going to sing? What kind of music is it? What's reflective? How do you feel when you look at these colors? What do you want to hear when you look at these colors?

What do you want to smell? What does the food look like? What is the menu telling? Who's coming? Who's sitting next to each other? That is an art form that I am obsessed with. And so to me, curation is the new currency of communication. We can communicate all day long. We can send newsletters and show videos and all these things that we're just overwhelmed by. But if we can slow down and curate a moment for our brand, for other people to also slow down and experience, the impact is greater than anything else I think you can do. Yeah. I mean, you said that you've heard it before, right? People don't remember what they tell you. They remember how they feel. Exactly. That's it. Exactly. That's it.

Do you, have you done any like studying or research? Because you mentioned a lot of things that are around like the psychology of this, right? Is like that there's stuff that most people don't pay any attention to the sights, the sounds, the smells, the looks, the feels. There's a psychological component to this that's influencing you that you don't even realize most of the time. So where, is that just innate for you? Or did you study psychology and a lot of this stuff to make sure that you knew the mix? Because I think some, it's almost like being a DJ, right? Some people can be a DJ and they can put two times together. Sounds cool. Other people are like, holy shit, you just created magic there.

So did you study it or did you just know it? Both. I think there's two reasons. One, I went to Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, ironically enough. And when I felt in my soul and spirit and my gut that there was something more out there for me, and praise be to all teachers, but I felt like I was supposed to do something big in the world and outside the classroom. I was flipping through their manual of majors and I found one called communication studies that focused on rhetoric and theory. And so my classes were very rooted in breaking down and understanding the impact of a moment, a word, a speech, a group. And it resonated so much with the way that my brain thinks I'm constantly observing.

I'm the child of an alcoholic. So I'm very sort of codependent and making sure everybody else is okay and watching the room and seeing if anybody's uncomfortable. And so there's a lot of different things that contribute to that. And also I'm a critical bitch. And if I walk into a place and it smells weird or the lighting's off or the music sucks, I don't want to be there. And so it's both a very sort of soft and sweet and intellectual part of my upbringing and how I view the world and what I learned in college. And it was so brilliant. I loved my education. And also I'm not a snob. I just like things a certain way. And I am at a place in my life where I really won't spend time or money in a place that's not sort of up to a particular vibe or standard.

And so I create it because it's hard to find. Nice. You and my wife, we get along. My wife's one. Because I'm the one who, if I get a small example, if I get a bad drink at a bar or something like that, I'll just kind of grin and bear it. I'll be like, yeah, okay, whatever. I'm just going to suck this up. My wife, she'll take one step and be like, this is terrible. Get it away. I want another one. And I'll be like, oh my God, I can't believe it. And she'll be like three in a row. She'll be like, oh, it's awful. No, no. Yeah. But we tend to curate a lot of our own. I'm very annoying to go with, but I feel like I take very much like a refined, uh, an educated, like I have a refined palate, you know, like I know what tastes good.

I know I've worked with a lot of chefs. I know what things need to taste and smell like. And so when it comes to cocktails in particular, it's like, I know when there's too much sweetness, I know that it's not balanced with the tart or with the citrus or, you know, so yeah, it's not always fun. And it's hard for me to find places to go out to because I mean, or people to go out with, right. Who are going to be like, oh my God, I can't believe one of my buddies. I've cultivated a little crew of very sort of well-traveled culture, human beings who feel the same as you. And maybe that's why we all love each other. Cause we're all kind of a little bit of an asshole. Yeah. I think in these days, you kind of have to be right.

You got to focus on what you enjoy. Cause life's too short not to, um, let's, let's finish up with, um, manifest two things. I want to talk to you. You talk a bit about manifestation. Um, I was never, I thought that was always a foofy little thing. You know, I actually was never really even introduced to it, uh, up until relatively recently. I mean, like within the past 10 years type of thing, but I think it was Jim Carrey who got me to at least pay attention to it when he wrote himself the $10 million check. And, and the, literally the day before he said he was going to write himself that check, he got the Ace Ventura contract. And on all of a sudden, I mean, it's like, are you shitting me right now?

And, and so that kind of woke me up to it a little bit. And then I've kind of gone down the path of the matrix and we're all living in the matrix. So it's energy and all sorts of shit. So that's a different conversation. But, um, how has manifestation helped you? Yeah, that's a great question. I think it looks different. Like there's no right way to do it. And so I'll just give you examples that I've used in my life, but by no means am I an expert or anything like that? Um, I had this vision when I was younger and it's so interesting. I've always pictured, I can picture it still perfectly right now. I have a very vivid imagination, um, of this house that was an office that had doors that opened and the breeze from the ocean was coming in and there was these sort of soft white linens coming through and there was people working for me on each side and I could smell the coffee and I could hear the jazz and I saw a little boy running around that office.

And I always pictured that and I didn't really know why it was just something that sort of came to me. So again, I can't give anybody advice on how to bring that vision, you know, into their heads in the first place because it's just something that was innate. And lo and behold, I'm in Chicago. I was, uh, at the peak of my career found out I was pregnant and very much, uh, single and, um, and decided to have my son, Henry, who's now almost eight years old and he's running around in this lofted building in Chicago. So not on the ocean, but now we are and the girls are all working and the jazz is playing and the coffee is brewing. And I, I just had this overwhelming like feeling that I had a power within me, uh, to realize dreams that, that I could, I could bring into the forefront.

So instead of it just coming to me, like I could start to really ask myself what I want, what I need, what does it feel like? And so that's just one example. The other is I had, um, and these are more personal than business, but I think you can use them any which way I had just gotten out of a relationship where my heart just felt like it was in pieces. And, um, I'm not religious. I talked to God, you know, I talked to God. And so I just said, what the hell? Like, I don't know what to do with this. I am so confused and a voice and sort of something in my spirit. Cause I'm very spiritual, but not in one way or the other, just sort of what works for me. Sad like then, then, then ask the universe, what does this next person or the right person feel like for you?

And I spent a lot of time. I'd be laying out by the pool and instead of reading a book or flipping on my phone, I would close my eyes and I would picture what does his hand feel like on my shoulder? And what does fingernails look like? And what does he smell like? And when I give him a hug, how do I feel? And what does his voice sound like? And I really started to build this image and it was coming to me more and more. And lo and behold, I found him. And I swear my fiance, that's, it was what came to me. It wasn't like, I was like, all right, I need a six, five guy with dark hair and blue eyes. You know, it wasn't like a circus level. It was like a feeling. And so I manifested a feeling. And I think that's what I focus on for my homes, for my business.

It's not really about what it looks like because you really can never control that. It's about how you feel. And if you can really take some time to quiet out the rest of the world, take some deep breaths and think about how you want to feel in your relationship and your marriage with your children, as a parent, with your staff out in the world to clients. How do you want to feel when you walk in that room? How do you want to feel when you leave that room? How do you want to feel when you close that deal? Do you picture the ink being signed on the paper? How do you celebrate? Um, that's really where I feel like the power exists because the more that your brain can be, your brain can be trained to see it, the, the, I think the easier it happens.

Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot to be said for what you focus on is where you go, right? Like if you focus on negativity all the time and everything else, and it's probably going to continue to be negative, but if you kind of vision and vet, you know what, then you can move yourself in that direction. Yeah. Have you, have you always been, I kind of, and this is a general statement, but I talk about how I think there's two types of people in this world that there are people where this life happens to versus there are people that this life happens for. Then I think you're, you obviously fall into that, that the four bucket, but I'm curious for you, was there a moment that you made that shift where you started to kind of have your own confidence and stop reacting to things that were happening to you and really manifesting things that you wanted to happen?

Was there a moment in your life or did you just gradually kind of own that for the majority of life because of your parents' background and how confident they were and that type of thing? Yeah. I hate to say it, but I was born with it. I really was. I, I, I loathe sort of like victimhood in the wrong way. Um, I've just never been a victim of my circumstance. And, um, yeah, I've just always felt I'm just a solutions person. Right. So if something sucks, then you cut the person out or you fire the client or like, I just, I'm like, I like to move on and, and so sort of to my detriment. I mean, my therapist is like, you can't just like fix it and move on every time, Alex, you got to like stay in the feeling.

I've just never been one to really enjoy that. And my mom says I have pixie dust. There is something special that happens where I, you know, get pulled backstage for a major DJ set and I get to see the whole thing from behind. I mean, really interesting and wild things have always happened to me. Um, but I'm open to it. I'm open to the world. I'm not a closed book. And so I think, yeah, I've just, I, I really, I credit my parents, but I really think I was born that way. Yeah. I think there's, there are certain, I mean, I, I don't know. I think I was always born that way in a slightly different, I was always kind of like, okay, I guess I'm supposed to do these things, but you know, I was always like, yeah, yeah.

I have a terrible memory and I hate history. And I think there's a reason for it because I, I personally never look behind. I always look forward. And again, to your point, much to my detriment, I could learn a lot from history. If I just read a book every once in a while or ask somebody else who's done my thing, but for some weird reason, I just love making my own mistakes and continuously making mistakes, even though I could easily prevent them. Yeah. Yeah. Like I never look at competition. I also just never, never compared myself as a woman. And I know that's like annoying to women in a way, but I just, I honestly think I'm a weirdo and I love that. And I celebrate that. And I think that's really what it is, is I was never like the other girls.

I was always kind of like the least popular of the popular girls, but I was in the group. And so, uh, I just never compared myself. So therefore I never had to look back or to set goal, set goal, accomplish goal, set goal, accomplish goal. But you know, I found very recently, I'm not sure what's next for the first time in my life. I've got two kids. I have an amazing fiance. My business is doing well and it's all good, but I feel a little dissatisfied and I'm not quite sure why. And so it's some work that I'm doing to kind of understand, is it that I just don't have my next goal set or is it that I feel uncomfortable when things are all good, but they're all kind of the same. And so, you know, it's an interesting time.

Yeah. I think that is when you get what you want, it's a weird, you know, it's like, it's almost like the dog catching the car, right? It's like, shit, what do I do with it? Like, I'm actually really content right now. I'm in the same situation where I'm really content, you know, love my wife. We've been together 17 years, daughter who's 14 years old, you know, got a decent house, got a little vacation spot in Costa Rica. Like, everything's cool. Now, do I want more? Absolutely. But am I pretty damn content? And I don't know how I deal with contentness, you know? Like, I just, I'm usually not. Like, I'm pretty restless after a little while. Like, I got to do something and I don't know why, but I think it's going back to nature and nurture stuff.

And it's also entrepreneurship, right? It's like the way that your brain works. It's like, I never want to think that I didn't use my brain to its fullest potential, that I didn't use my ideas to the betterment of the world, the betterment of the experiences that people could have with my ideas. You know, I think a lot of people benefit from my ideas and that's what makes me happy. So, you know, yeah, there's, there's great parts about that. And there's also really challenging parts about that. It's hard to be my friend. It's hard to date me. It's hard to be my child because I just want to do all the time. Awesome. Let's finish with this because I was super curious on this and I just had a fantastic experience this weekend with a surprise brunch with my wife's, for my wife's birthday.

How'd you get involved with the drag queen story hour? Cause that to me is super cool. We had, we had, so I brought my wife to a drag queen brunch this week cause that was what she wanted, uh, for a surprise. I surprised her and it was a blast. We go down to Provincetown a lot here in Boston or on the Cape Cod, but talk to me about how you got involved in that and what that's, what that's all about. Sure. So I grew up in a very, uh, Republican home, uh, in Coronado military town. Um, and I just don't think in that small little town, I really knew a lot about the world. You know, it was a very homogenous type of place and that's okay. It was a great town to grow up in. But when I moved to Chicago, it was like the, I literally used to tell my mom, I feel like somebody cut my eyelids open and ripped it open to a whole different world.

I just saw the world in technicolor. I saw just a vast diversity of human beings. I was exposed to, um, first and foremost, expressions of humanness that I had never seen in my life. And a good majority of the expressions of that humanness was queer, queer people and their experience through art, through poetry, through dance, through performance, through drag. And it was just a normal part of my Chicago life. And it was wonderful and beautiful. And like I said, it was technicolor. I felt alive because like I said, I was always kind of a, a weirdo and kind of, you know, I would just always did my own thing. So to see somebody put themselves out there to be brave enough to, to do it, but then to have perfect makeup and a beautiful, perfect wig and to be able to dance in a heel that I could barely even walk in.

It was like, I truly felt like I admired so much of it. Um, and so when I moved back to San Diego, after I had my son, I just thought, Oh my God, I cannot go back to that black and white world, uh, that non technicolor world that I've come to know. And I was a single mom with my son. And so we moved back to be closer to family and get the support that I needed as a single mom and start my business out here and keep the Chicago one. And so I thought, okay, I can't go to bars to meet new friends. And that's how I met all my friends in Chicago. Cause I have a son and that's not the life I live anymore. How the heck could I meet really cool, like-minded mom friends? And so I started the chapter.

That's how I started the San Diego chapter, drag queen story hour to meet like-minded people, whether they were queer themselves, I'm queer and bisexual, or, you know, they supported queer people. They had a queer brother. They love the queer community. Like that's the kind of people I want to be around because it's open and funny enough, it's more God-like than some of the others. So, you know, Oddly enough, right? Like oddly enough, the comparisons are gold figure that acceptance is, you know, godly versus exclusionary, right? Yeah. So that's how we raise our family, you know, and, and that's how I brought drag queen story hour to the kids. And I think for a lot of people who are still concerned or just don't understand why, what a drag queen need to read to a child.

Cause I get that. It's like, but why? Right. I get it. And I can tell you, it has nothing to do with being queer. It has nothing to do with a man dressing up as a woman. It has to do with children learning acceptance of all. So that when they go to a grocery store and see someone who's 600 pounds, or they see someone who has a skin disorder where things just look different than they do, they don't say, ew, mommy, look. They say, hope you have a great day. And they look that person in the eye. It's about humanity and bringing your kids around people who are others and showing them that otherness is beautiful. Yeah. And thank you for that, by the way. Cause the world needs a lot more of that acceptance these days.

I think so many people are scared of stuff they don't understand. And if they just took some time to actually spend some time talking to some other people, they might take a whole new perspective on life and actually live it a lot more enjoyable as opposed to being angry and mad and fear-based all the time, which I just don't understand why anybody would want to live that lifestyle. So. Same. And I think that's where like community dinners, like the one that we do, like, I'm not trying to plug my business here, but I'm just saying like, that's why sitting down and breaking bread with others is so important so that you see their humanity. And I, I, I was so hopeful to have somebody lead our country who just felt like she was just putting the chairs out for anybody to come and sit and, um, and we'll get back there again, but because we're not there, I think it's important for people to, to create those moments.

And it goes back to what we said before we started recording. It's like, all you can do is treat others well and to connect with your community and to put those tables either literally or figuratively out there where a variety of people, humans from all different experiences and political backgrounds and cultural backgrounds can sit together and just be a community. That's all, that's all we all want. Right. I just want to be, feel like we belong to something, feel like people care, you know, and make a few bucks, take a few vacations. It's amazing. If you really shut up, if you read that going back to social media, I think if you shut off the news and you shut off social media, like we're all normal human beings that just want to pretty much the same stuff.

But as soon as you get caught in those echo chambers, you start to hate people for what reasons you don't understand. So, well, I wish we could solve those problems here, Alex, but down with the echo chamber. Yes. Yes, it would. Alex, now feel free to, to pitch your business. Well, tell, tell everybody where they can find out more information about what you, what you're working on and in these curated events. So tell the audience where they can find out more. Yeah. I know your audience is all over the country, but if you're ever in San Diego, we've got the Blake table and underground dinner series. We do about four to six per year. You don't know the date or, you know, the date, you don't know the location or the menu until the day of we pop up in a place you would never normally dine curated five course dinner with about 50 people and really interesting locations.

I also have Chrome city, my creative studio. We work with designers and chefs and do a lot of consulting on restaurants. And then finally, I have my new solo podcast called wild and wise. We're working on season two right now. And you can listen to that on Spotify and Apple, anywhere that you listen to your podcast. You can find me on Instagram at Alex V Otts. My middle name is Vonna. So it's Alex V Otts. And all of those things are also on Instagram as well. Love it. Thank you so much. And for everybody listening, it's OTT. That's Otts. Go find her on all the different platforms, engage, help support the communities that she's helping to flourish and support and everything else. And, uh, Alex has been an absolute pleasure.

Thank you so much for coming on the show. I really enjoyed the conversation. Absolutely. And everybody else out there, hopefully you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. And like I always say at the end of all these podcasts, go out there and make somebody smile today. Cause no matter how bad your day went or how bad you think it's going, you make somebody smile and you know, you had a good day and the world needs a lot more of that right now. So thank you all very much. And I'll see you on the other side. Hey everyone. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did with your support and our incredible guests. We're one of the top sales podcasts out there right now. And I can't thank you enough now to keep the momentum going.

It would mean the world to me. If you could go and leave a five-star review on your favorite podcast platform and share some of your favorite episodes with your network. Also, I am super excited to be launching my new newsletter where I'll be sharing everything I know and everything I'm learning along the way while I'm out there selling every day just like you. Go to jbarrows.com slash newsletter to sign up today. Let's all level up and make this happen together.